I'm opening my heart with honesty to avoid cruelity and hatred, to pencil thankful with what I have, to avoid sins and lies. I feel the heat from the burning flame as I'm lookin out through the window. In solitude I look at my life from different angles... Thoughts strangled, my mind suffocating in this quest. A greed bloody law that I abide by is ruthless, enough will never satisfy until I die. It is a sad fact of life. I realise I need to call God, to return to where I belong. I will make it clear, I not even trying to preach. But by sharing my thoughts, I hope I can find a little peace. I thank God for blessing me with all the thing that I have now... Having comfortable home, driving good car. Pleasure from partying and cracking bottles in clubs don't last long. I know for all this long, I didn't do right things. I fly so high, thinking that nobody going to clip my wings. I lied to myself... Knowing that I have been neglecting my responsibilities as a man. Now two of three is dropping... I ask for forgiveness, guidance, protection and strength for humbleness and faith to make me a better man. Now let me bring you back to my life of 4 years ago... It was something that sometimes I almost forgot... My brother took me into a journey to Ajvatovica. There I made my wish "Dear God, you make it possible when facing obstacles. Please let me do good before I pass on." Then months after that something bad happened to me. I almost dead, it caused me live in the hospital for almost 3 months... There I keep reciting my testimony of faith and try to find the right way to get out of this maze. The candles burnt out, that is when I feel the wind blow on my chest. For those who cried for my pain, for those who plotted my fall... I learned to differentiate fakes from the great, friends from the snakes. Hate is all what it takes for me to tell you all these things. Love me or hate me, this is who I'm! I look at the past of time. I wish I can be born again so I can rectify my mistakes and minimize my sins. I wish I can back to 1993 so that I can stop the bloody history before it happens... I'm not trying to be a holy man but I'm trying to be a better man. Who am I to advice you? I'm just no one. I just write what my thoughts say.